
Showing posts with label Gin in my Apron Pocket. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gin in my Apron Pocket. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
To Do List
Accountability. I need some. lol
I am going to post my to do list in hopes that since I published it to everyone..I will feel the need to accomplish as much as I can. I have developed a bad habit during my recent unemployment on taking a rather large nap after I drop Dalton off at school. I waste so much time sleeping. It needs to stop. So ..here it goes..
I am going to post my to do list in hopes that since I published it to everyone..I will feel the need to accomplish as much as I can. I have developed a bad habit during my recent unemployment on taking a rather large nap after I drop Dalton off at school. I waste so much time sleeping. It needs to stop. So ..here it goes..
- Laundry- It is a never ending job around here. Last night and tonight, I have done a few loads..even folded it and mostly put away. The laundry room still looks like a disaster area though. I know I can't completely catch up tomorrow, but I do want to make an effort.
- Dalton's toys- They have multiplied and taken over my home. My sister and I weeded through and bagged up ones that didn't see much action. We put them in the garage, but one by one they have found their way back upstairs. So, I want to make a dent in the visible toys. He really only plays with his trains and trucks..so the others can be put up. Even those can be rotated..he has SO many.
I'm starting small. lol So, I will report back tomorrow and see what I can get done!
Also..send prayers/good thoughts to a few friends for me...
*Michelle's dad is in the hospital..he had a brain aneurysm and had surgery today. He's had a rough few months health wise..so the more prayers the better!
*Kim F's MIL is in the hospital as well... she was taken for chest pains. So send prayers to them too.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Emotionally Drained..
Yesterday was hard. Actually it sucked. Why you ask? Well because I am emotional..yeah..what else is new, right??
So I am a book whore..
Leigh and I went to McKays the other day..I took a shitload of books for trade credit..(Got almost $60.00 in trade.. yay me) I had made a list earlier in the week of authors or book titles to remember to look for. What did I do?? I forgot the fucking list!! LOL Classic Christy.
I did remember a few authors and titles. Specifically... Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner (the newest book..a sequel to Good In Bed) and a few books by Marion Keyes (Rachel's Holiday and The Last Chance Saloon)
So I decide to start with the new Jennifer Weiner book. It was such an awesome read..and I won't spoil it for any that haven't read it yet. I was crushed at one point in the book. Full blown sobbing, gasping for air, you shot my puppy crying. It was bad..lol Needless to say, I finished the book in one sitting. (Around 3-4 hours..it was after Dalton was asleep). Well the mood carried through today. I was worthless. I made the decision to keep Dalton home from school the night before due to his constipation (again!). Poor kiddo. He stands there stiff legged and red faced just grunting and groaning begging me, "Mommy help me please". It breaks my heart.. So I was determined that today we would fix it. The kid passed an adult sized poop..it would have made my ass cry. lol He was so excited.."Mommy, My did a huuuuge poop" Anyway..I was very off today. At one point, I snuck upstairs and hid in the little hallway corner..just so I could be alone for a few minutes. I got maybe 5 minutes before Dalton came upstairs cautiously looking for me. (He's facinga lot of fears all the sudden..monsters, ghosts, random noises, and the dark.) So I came out of hiding..but I just wasn't me. I avoided phone calls today..( sorry guys..love you) because I just wasn't up for faking a happy mood. I'm trying to snap out of it.. I refuse to let a book..an fucking awesome book at that get me down.
So I am a book whore..
Leigh and I went to McKays the other day..I took a shitload of books for trade credit..(Got almost $60.00 in trade.. yay me) I had made a list earlier in the week of authors or book titles to remember to look for. What did I do?? I forgot the fucking list!! LOL Classic Christy.
I did remember a few authors and titles. Specifically... Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner (the newest book..a sequel to Good In Bed) and a few books by Marion Keyes (Rachel's Holiday and The Last Chance Saloon)
So I decide to start with the new Jennifer Weiner book. It was such an awesome read..and I won't spoil it for any that haven't read it yet. I was crushed at one point in the book. Full blown sobbing, gasping for air, you shot my puppy crying. It was bad..lol Needless to say, I finished the book in one sitting. (Around 3-4 hours..it was after Dalton was asleep). Well the mood carried through today. I was worthless. I made the decision to keep Dalton home from school the night before due to his constipation (again!). Poor kiddo. He stands there stiff legged and red faced just grunting and groaning begging me, "Mommy help me please". It breaks my heart.. So I was determined that today we would fix it. The kid passed an adult sized poop..it would have made my ass cry. lol He was so excited.."Mommy, My did a huuuuge poop" Anyway..I was very off today. At one point, I snuck upstairs and hid in the little hallway corner..just so I could be alone for a few minutes. I got maybe 5 minutes before Dalton came upstairs cautiously looking for me. (He's facinga lot of fears all the sudden..monsters, ghosts, random noises, and the dark.) So I came out of hiding..but I just wasn't me. I avoided phone calls today..( sorry guys..love you) because I just wasn't up for faking a happy mood. I'm trying to snap out of it.. I refuse to let a book..an fucking awesome book at that get me down.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
The day God called you home..
God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.
He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain.
And knew that you would never get well on earth again.
He saw your path was difficult, he closed you tired eyes,
He whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly.
When we saw you sleeping so calm and free of pain,
We would not wish you back to earth to suffer once again.
You've left us precious memories, your love will be our guide,
You live on through your children, you're always by our side.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you on the day God called you home
He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain.
And knew that you would never get well on earth again.
He saw your path was difficult, he closed you tired eyes,
He whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly.
When we saw you sleeping so calm and free of pain,
We would not wish you back to earth to suffer once again.
You've left us precious memories, your love will be our guide,
You live on through your children, you're always by our side.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you on the day God called you home
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
We Remember Them
From the Gates of Repentance
New Union Prayer Book for the Days of Awe
Author Unknown
At the rising of the sun and at its going down,
We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of Winter, We remember them.
At the opening of buds and in the rebirth of Spring,
We remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of Summer,
We remember them.
At the rustling of leaves and the beauty of Autumn,
We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live;
for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember them.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make,
We remember them
When we have achievements that are based on theirs,
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too shall live,
for they are a part of us, as we remember them.
New Union Prayer Book for the Days of Awe
Author Unknown
At the rising of the sun and at its going down,
We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of Winter, We remember them.
At the opening of buds and in the rebirth of Spring,
We remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of Summer,
We remember them.
At the rustling of leaves and the beauty of Autumn,
We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live;
for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember them.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make,
We remember them
When we have achievements that are based on theirs,
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too shall live,
for they are a part of us, as we remember them.
Friday, May 2, 2008
A Golden Heart
God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not meant to be,
So he put his arms around you
and whispered "Come to Me".
With tearful eyes we watched you,
as we saw you pass away.
Although we loved you deeply,
we could not make you stay.
Your Golden Heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.
Copyright © 1997 Therese Williamson
and a cure was not meant to be,
So he put his arms around you
and whispered "Come to Me".
With tearful eyes we watched you,
as we saw you pass away.
Although we loved you deeply,
we could not make you stay.
Your Golden Heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.
Copyright © 1997 Therese Williamson
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I heard the angel say..
I thought I saw your face today,
in the sparkle of the morning sun.
And then I heard the angel say,
"Their work on earth is done."
I thought I heard your voice today,
then laugh your hearty laugh.
And then I heard the angel say,
"There's peace dear one at last."
I thought I felt your touch today,
in the breeze that rustled by.
And then I heard the angel say,
"The spirit never dies."
I thought I saw my broken heart,
in the crescent of the moon.
And then I heard the angel say,
"The Lord is coming soon."
I thought that you had left me,
for the stars so far above.
And then I heard the angel say,
"They left you with their love."
I thought that I would miss you so,
and never find my way.
And then I heard the angel say,
"They're with you every day."
"The sun, the wind, the moon, the stars,
will forever be around,
reminding you of the love you shared,
and the peace they've finally found.
Bobbi Davis
in the sparkle of the morning sun.
And then I heard the angel say,
"Their work on earth is done."
I thought I heard your voice today,
then laugh your hearty laugh.
And then I heard the angel say,
"There's peace dear one at last."
I thought I felt your touch today,
in the breeze that rustled by.
And then I heard the angel say,
"The spirit never dies."
I thought I saw my broken heart,
in the crescent of the moon.
And then I heard the angel say,
"The Lord is coming soon."
I thought that you had left me,
for the stars so far above.
And then I heard the angel say,
"They left you with their love."
I thought that I would miss you so,
and never find my way.
And then I heard the angel say,
"They're with you every day."
"The sun, the wind, the moon, the stars,
will forever be around,
reminding you of the love you shared,
and the peace they've finally found.
Bobbi Davis
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
The 3rd Year
~ By the 3rd year after losing a loved one, you’re busy with your life. You don’t cry much. Things seem okay, but then you remember: They’re gone. They’re still really gone. It’s like getting the punch line to a very bad joke, over and over.
http://www.looseleafnotes.com/notes/2005/06/losing_a_loved_one.html
http://www.looseleafnotes.com/notes/2005/06/losing_a_loved_one.html
Thinking about Dad
I'm not that into poetry most of the time.. but I'm feeling a bit sentimental. The 3 year anniversary of my father's passing is coming up on May 7th. Everyday until then..I am going to post a poem, quote, or something to help me get through this.
I never felt I had the time to mourn when he passed. I had a 6 month old and a distraught mother to take care of. I still don't have the time to mourn now..but I need to get this out in any way I can. Maybe then it won't be so haunting.
Finding my daddy lying in bed that way was horrid. Absolutely horrible. It is something I never wish on anyone..period. For a passing second, I thought he was just sleeping quietly. I shook him, begged, pleaded with him to please wake up while mom screamed in the background. I left for a moment to find a phone to call 911. Attempted to do CPR..the whole nine yards. I thought it was working once. I thought I heard a breath and a gargle, but it wasn't. He was already so gone. I blamed myself for over a year. Maybe if I had been better at CPR or if I had done the chest compressions just right, it would have worked. Maybe if I had grabbed the phone and called 911 first thing instead of trying to wake him up, they could have saved him.
They say that God never gives you more than you can handle. But dammit why does He think *I* could do that?! For months, I was too scared to let my infant son or my mother sleep a full nap/night without waking them up to make sure they didn't die. I would sit awake all night and torture myself with the thought that he didn't die instantly, that maybe for a split second he KNEW. He and I both are bi-polar and suffer from anxiety. I could and still do imagine that what that last minute was like, how scared he must have been. What if he tried to call out but couldn't speak? What if he called out, but was so weak that we didn't hear him? What if he thought we were ignoring him and left him to die? I can't voice these thoughts to my family or even my closest friends. So finally, almost 3 years later I am finding my voice.
I'm going to try to post a picture of a picture too. It's of Dad, me, Misty and Mom..circa 1984 I believe.
I never felt I had the time to mourn when he passed. I had a 6 month old and a distraught mother to take care of. I still don't have the time to mourn now..but I need to get this out in any way I can. Maybe then it won't be so haunting.
Finding my daddy lying in bed that way was horrid. Absolutely horrible. It is something I never wish on anyone..period. For a passing second, I thought he was just sleeping quietly. I shook him, begged, pleaded with him to please wake up while mom screamed in the background. I left for a moment to find a phone to call 911. Attempted to do CPR..the whole nine yards. I thought it was working once. I thought I heard a breath and a gargle, but it wasn't. He was already so gone. I blamed myself for over a year. Maybe if I had been better at CPR or if I had done the chest compressions just right, it would have worked. Maybe if I had grabbed the phone and called 911 first thing instead of trying to wake him up, they could have saved him.
They say that God never gives you more than you can handle. But dammit why does He think *I* could do that?! For months, I was too scared to let my infant son or my mother sleep a full nap/night without waking them up to make sure they didn't die. I would sit awake all night and torture myself with the thought that he didn't die instantly, that maybe for a split second he KNEW. He and I both are bi-polar and suffer from anxiety. I could and still do imagine that what that last minute was like, how scared he must have been. What if he tried to call out but couldn't speak? What if he called out, but was so weak that we didn't hear him? What if he thought we were ignoring him and left him to die? I can't voice these thoughts to my family or even my closest friends. So finally, almost 3 years later I am finding my voice.
I'm going to try to post a picture of a picture too. It's of Dad, me, Misty and Mom..circa 1984 I believe.
Friday, April 25, 2008
Stolen from my Myspace blog..
(I took this from a friends blog and had to share)
This advice was passed along to me from a friend who got it from a website who got it from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about
baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists
of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you're
always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies.
You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.
This advice was passed along to me from a friend who got it from a website who got it from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about
baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists
of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you're
always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies.
You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
All my cards are on the table with no ace left in the hole
.. I'm much too young to feel this damn old..
Getting old sucks. Let me rephrase that..getting old while being fat sucks. lol
I got up this morning..got ready for work..realized..oh hell i feel like shit. So I took my blood pressure and about fainted.
189/139
Greeeeeeeat. So I took my meds..and laid down on the couch to chill for a few. Took it again..it was still high..but not nearly as bad.
I will admit..I was scared.
---------
Dalton had a wee ball scrimmage on Tuesday night. Very cute..
He got his shirt and hat too. He did well at first, then towards the middle just wanted to play in the dirt..sooo tempting for a 3 year old! It was really late though..the scrimmage started at 7pm. Crazy.. His first real game is on Saturday at noon. A friend (hint hint) is coming and going to take pics for me..she rocks!
----------
Seems like the sperm donor has lost interest again. He lasted longer than usual this time. Almost 2 months of contact is a record for him. I called him on Monday to let him know about the scrimmage and game. No answer..so I left a voicemail. On the way to the ball park, Dalton asked, "Mommy, will my dad be there?" So I called him again and no answer. So nope ..no show. Asswipe... I haven't called him again..trying to behave and keep the b/p down. I don't know what his deal is..but dammit either be a part of MY son's life or stay the fuck away. You can't have both!
-----------
A few months back at Target I bought the Yoga Booty Ballet system. I had seen the infomercials quite a bit and thought it looked fun. Well as fun as exercising can be.. I finally opened it last night.. Didn't actually do it..but I did look through the materials. :-) Tonight I will attempt it..
Getting old sucks. Let me rephrase that..getting old while being fat sucks. lol
I got up this morning..got ready for work..realized..oh hell i feel like shit. So I took my blood pressure and about fainted.
189/139
Greeeeeeeat. So I took my meds..and laid down on the couch to chill for a few. Took it again..it was still high..but not nearly as bad.
I will admit..I was scared.
---------
Dalton had a wee ball scrimmage on Tuesday night. Very cute..
He got his shirt and hat too. He did well at first, then towards the middle just wanted to play in the dirt..sooo tempting for a 3 year old! It was really late though..the scrimmage started at 7pm. Crazy.. His first real game is on Saturday at noon. A friend (hint hint) is coming and going to take pics for me..she rocks!
----------
Seems like the sperm donor has lost interest again. He lasted longer than usual this time. Almost 2 months of contact is a record for him. I called him on Monday to let him know about the scrimmage and game. No answer..so I left a voicemail. On the way to the ball park, Dalton asked, "Mommy, will my dad be there?" So I called him again and no answer. So nope ..no show. Asswipe... I haven't called him again..trying to behave and keep the b/p down. I don't know what his deal is..but dammit either be a part of MY son's life or stay the fuck away. You can't have both!
-----------
A few months back at Target I bought the Yoga Booty Ballet system. I had seen the infomercials quite a bit and thought it looked fun. Well as fun as exercising can be.. I finally opened it last night.. Didn't actually do it..but I did look through the materials. :-) Tonight I will attempt it..
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Sweet Dreams are made of this...
I'm a dork..we all know that..and some of you love me inspite of this. haha
Ok..so I've been having some messed up dreams lately.
The other night, I dreamed I was pregnant. I went into labor on August 3rd and gave birth to not 1 but 3 babies! I was shocked!! No one, doctors included realized their were 3 babies. So, in that moment I became the mother to 4! I cried..I can barely be a parent to 1 child..let alone 4!! I had 2 boys and 1 girl. Kaia Jane, Dylan Ferguson, and Noah (I forget what his middle name was).
Fast forward a night or two..
I was at work..and a co-worker was scared to take a pregnancy test. So I told her..buy a 2 pack..I'll take one with you. I thought it funny b/c I was on my period and there would be NO way it could be positive. Hers was instantly negative and mine was instantly positive. I was shocked..I hadn't missed a period in a YEAR! So I made my appt with my ob. Yup, I was pregnant..so they did an ultrasound to see if they could date it. "Oh, look I see a boy! Oh goodness, another boy..same sac..Identical twins. They measure to be about 16 weeks" Ok..twins I can handle twins..and I can handle boys. lol Then, I hear.."Oh, there is another one..a girl! Ms. Brady you are having triplets" My one thought was at least this time around Lane Bryant carries a maternity line. lol So my pregnancy goes on..and they do a csection on..you guessed it..August 3rd. Dylan, Cooper, and Emma. Funny...huh?
I'm hoping my new meds are what is causing these dreams..
About a month or so ago..I was at work feeling like shit. My chest hurt and my arms were numb.. I thought I was dying. So, I stopped by my doctor's office. My blood pressure was 178/114. Lovely. I left there on blood pressure meds..obviously. (Making long story short) lol So..could this Lisinopril be messing with my dreams? The other dreams are too violent to blog about..so I don't know.
Ok..so I've been having some messed up dreams lately.
The other night, I dreamed I was pregnant. I went into labor on August 3rd and gave birth to not 1 but 3 babies! I was shocked!! No one, doctors included realized their were 3 babies. So, in that moment I became the mother to 4! I cried..I can barely be a parent to 1 child..let alone 4!! I had 2 boys and 1 girl. Kaia Jane, Dylan Ferguson, and Noah (I forget what his middle name was).
Fast forward a night or two..
I was at work..and a co-worker was scared to take a pregnancy test. So I told her..buy a 2 pack..I'll take one with you. I thought it funny b/c I was on my period and there would be NO way it could be positive. Hers was instantly negative and mine was instantly positive. I was shocked..I hadn't missed a period in a YEAR! So I made my appt with my ob. Yup, I was pregnant..so they did an ultrasound to see if they could date it. "Oh, look I see a boy! Oh goodness, another boy..same sac..Identical twins. They measure to be about 16 weeks" Ok..twins I can handle twins..and I can handle boys. lol Then, I hear.."Oh, there is another one..a girl! Ms. Brady you are having triplets" My one thought was at least this time around Lane Bryant carries a maternity line. lol So my pregnancy goes on..and they do a csection on..you guessed it..August 3rd. Dylan, Cooper, and Emma. Funny...huh?
I'm hoping my new meds are what is causing these dreams..
About a month or so ago..I was at work feeling like shit. My chest hurt and my arms were numb.. I thought I was dying. So, I stopped by my doctor's office. My blood pressure was 178/114. Lovely. I left there on blood pressure meds..obviously. (Making long story short) lol So..could this Lisinopril be messing with my dreams? The other dreams are too violent to blog about..so I don't know.
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