Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Three days before found out I was pregnant, I had a dream. I was walking through the halls of a preschool (same one my sister and I went to.. Dalton also went there for Mother's Day out.). I was picking up my son.. A handsome, adorable, beautiful boy with dark brown hair and brownish green eyes. He was carrying a picture he had pained that day. The name on the bottom read "Dalton Brady". I didn't think much of it,.. just a dream, ya know? Then 2 days later, I was sick as a dog.. but I wrote it off as that stomach bug that had went around. Feb. 25, 2004, I went to my family doctor because my back was acting up a bit. He gave me some meds and I went on my way. I had dinner that night with Linda and Chad at TGI Fridays. I ordered my favorite drink there (Electric Lemonade), but it just didn't taste right. I felt a bit light headed during dinner..but I just wrote it off again. Left dinner and went by CVS to pick up my meds.. and paused by the pregnancy tests. I laugh about it now..I thought what the hell.. I will buy a test..just to make sure that I'm NOT pregnant before I take any of the medicines. The box I bought had only 1 test.. that is how sure I was that it would be NEGATIVE. I go home to my apartment.. sign online.. and am talking to Lili and Linda online. West Wing was getting ready to come on.. I figured what the hell. . I will just take the test now. So I go do it.. and look and see only 1 line. I did the happy dance around my apartment as the theme song for West Wing played in the background. I laughed at the fact that I was worried for a second. Then out of the corner of my eye.. I glance at the test laying on my coffee table.. OMFG.. now there were TWO lines!! I seriously thought it was just the lighting. I went to the bathroom..still two lines.. I went to the kitchen.. still two lines.. bedroom..still two lines.. balcony ..still two lines. That second line wasn't going away. Once I realized that.. well I lost my dinner and never got to sit down and watch that episode of west wing. I called one of my bestest girlfriends..and told her to come over please.. I was crying my eyes out.. she thought I was dying.. and I said, "No, I think I'm pregnant." She asked if I had taken a test..I told her yes but I think I'm just seeing a second line that isn't there. She came over.. verified the obvious second line and consoled me. I wasn't upset that I was pregnant.. just shocked.. very shocked. The next morning.. I drove through inches of snow going 5 miles an hour.. to go back to CVS for another pack of pregnancy tests... THIS time I bought a two pack. All in all.. it took 5 home pregnancy tests, 1 pregnancy clinic test, plus a blood test at my family doctor for me to really, truly believe that, Yes, I was pregnant.
Fast forward to November 4th.. after six hours of active labor..and an hour and a half of pushing.. my beautiful baby boy was born. It was just me and mom (with the doctor and nurses) to welcome him at 6:01 am. He let out the loudest wail after Mom cut the cord.. and as the nurse carried him over to the warmer.. he peed on her. LOL! I should have known then that he was gonna be a handful! Mom went out in the waiting room to call my Dad.. and he was already at the hospital waiting. She called him at 4am right before I started to push to give him an update..and he couldn't go back to sleep. So he sat there for 2 hours waiting for me. So of course.. I kept the name from my dream, Dalton.. and gave him the middle name Errett. That was my Dad's middle name and if Dalton turns out to be anything like my father.. then I will be doubly blessed.
I love my son more than my life.. and even though he can drive me batty at times.. he's my sweet boy and I can't imagine my life without him. Happy Birthday Dalton!! Mommy loves you!!!
Another edition of Not me Monday! Let's all join the fun and talk about what we "didn't" do this past week!
* I didn't post my Not Me's on Tuesday, because I was too much of a slacker to do it before work and I don't get out of work until midnight. Nope not me.. I should plan ahead!
* I didn't fix my monster a peanut butter sandwich for dinner Sunday night when he had asked for a butter sandwich (gag!) and pretend to have misunderstood.
* I also didn't eat said pb sandwich and make the original requested sandwich for my sweet angel because I didn't want to hear him scream anymore. Nope not me.. That is just gross!
* It didn't make me sick to my stomach being nice to D's *father* Sunday.. nope not me.. I can be civil to everyone and like it.
* I didn't stand at work tonight scanning my card in the time clock 5 times, wondering aloud why it wouldn't clock me in..until someone in the line (that was forming behind me) said to turn it the right way.
* I didn't throw my pants in the dryer again today before work... because I didn't feel like ironing.. nope not me! I always iron and hang up my clothes right away!
Thats all for now! Go over to MckMama's site to find a list of more Not Me! Mondays.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Friday, I was on my way to work and stopped to fill up my car. I went inside and prepaid for my gas, pumped my gas, and got in the car to leave. There was a tap on my passenger window..and I looked over.. and there was a man leaning in towards my window. He was probably nearing 60 or so.. This is how the conversation went..
Old Guy: Hello
OG: I just wanted to tell you, you sure do look purdy today.
Me: thank you. (Starts car).
OG: Really you do. I would love to take you out.
Me: Sorry, I've got a boyfriend and he's the jealous type.
OG: Aww, well then, I sure would love to see those big boobies then.
Me: Excuse me?
OG: I said I sure would love to see those big boobies, them are nice ones.
Me: You know that is rude and uncalled for.. you don't go around talking like that. Good bye!
OMG!! I rolled the windows up (Hoping to break his face), checked that my doors were locked and backed out.. his truck was blocking me so I couldn't pull forward. I was amazed.. I mean.. I know the twins are big, but c'mon!! I had NO cleavage showing today lol Did he expect me to just plop them out for his viewing delight? If he had been hot..then ya know maybe I would have considered it first.. but still would have said no. lol
I'm feeling a bit emotional..My boy is going to be 4 on November 4th. I can't believe it. Seriously, it seems like yesterday that I was waddling around begging God to please let this child be born already. lol Now, he's getting so big..and his favorite saying..
"Kindergarten here I come!"
*sobbing* Not yet.. but soon.. I do think he's right though, the elem. school will need a warning. Its only fair. lol
Monday, October 27, 2008
Not Me Monday!!
* I didn't bring Dalton downstairs when he woke up on Sunday morning, turn on Diego, and go back to sleep on the couch.. Nope.. that wouldn't be a good mommy.. Not me!!
* I didn't pick up the shirt I wanted to wear tonight (Boo at the Zoo) and smell it to see if it was clean.. Nope .. that would mean I hadn't done laundry in a few days.. Not me!
* I didn't burn the burgers on the grill (beyond hope) Saturday night.. Nope.. Not me!!
*I wasn't secretly happy that the burgers weren't edible, because then we could order take out.. Nope.. Not me!!
* My 3 year old didn't walk in the living room Saturday night put the phone on the table and say, "Here is your damn phone Mom." Nope.. Not my son!
* I didn't have to compose myself while I racked my brain to figure how to deal with that.. Nope.. Not me!!
* I didn't sit here this weekend and realize that my baby will be 4! in 10 days.. and I haven't prepared at all.. Nope.. Not me!!
* I didn't actually believe that D's Dad would get him this weekend.. Nope.. That would mean he wasn't a lying you know what.. Nope.. Not me!!
*I didn't knock kids over after getting off the backwards merry go round at the zoo.. Nope.. Not me.. I never get dizzy on those things.
* I didn't let D fall asleep on the couch because I didn't feel like fighting about bedtime.. Nope.. I would never do that!!
Okay.. I'm tired thinking of all of the things I didn't do!! Your turn!! Hop on over @ MckMama's blog for more Not me Monday's!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
Saturday..he had it on after we got out of the pool.. the hood was on his head..the rest just floating..
Dalton: Look Mommy. Dalton is a princess!!
Mommy: You mean Dalton is a prince, right?
Dalton: No, Mommy.. Princess! Dalton is a princess!
Mommy: Okay..how about a king? Kings are way more cool.
Dalton: No No No! Mommy, listen to me. Dalton is a princess!
With the right tool (thanks Dad- I found one of his pocket screwdrivers) and a little luck, I did it!! Yay Mommy!! High fives !!! (that was from Dalton)
We had a nice little talk, and he has promised no more locking doors. He apologized to me and most of all to Izzie. He felt so bad that she was scared. LOL
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
oh..and a Daltonism for you...
I went to Target tonight..got him a few things from the dollar spot.
a yellow hard hat..like Bob's
a saw and a screwdriver
So now he thinks he's Bob the Builder...
He comes up to me...nude..with his hat on.."Mommy, I'm Bob the Naked Builder!"
Saturday, July 5, 2008
We swam a bit. Dalton is a fish!! He was a fishie life jacket/arm floatie thing. I will upload a pic of it soon. I don't know how to describe it. But with it my boy swims. He swam beside me to the deep end tonight. Jumped off the side of the pool numerous times. He's getting so big! Then we got dressed and played in the backyard. He rode his race car for awhile, then we played ball. I grilled burgers for dinner. He got out his bubbles and had a great time.
Mom and I had been weeding the unused flower gardens.. his job was to pick up the weeds and put them in the bin. He loved his job. He started squealing.. "A snake..Mommy a snake!!" over and over. I look over there and he has found his first worm. So I tell him, "Dalton, that isn't a snake, its just a worm." He asked if he could touch it..so I said yes. He giggled as he touched it. Then laughed and touched it again..harder. lol I was like Dalton be easy or you will hurt the worm!! Gentle touches, remember? He asked me what the worms name was..and I said I don't know, why don't you name it? What about Leo or Quincy (Little Einsteins)..he refused..and named it........................................................................................................................................................
Dead Worm. No, the worm wasn't dead..and he didn't plan on making it dead.. so I'm not sure where that came from. LMAO He sat down beside the worm..and would occasionally "pet" it and talked to it....
Dalton: Hi Dead worm. I like you. My name is Dalton Errett Brady and I'm this many (holds up 3 fingers). How many are you?
Mommy: Dalton, I think that is a baby worm.
Dalton: Where are its mommy and daddy?
Mommy: I don't know Dalton..maybe they are at their home.
Dalton: OK Dead Worm. You are my best friend. Am I your best friend?
He just jabbered and talked to that poor worm until I told him it was time for dinner.
He leaned down to the ground.. and said, " Bye Dead Worm. I have to eat. Here you eat this leaf." He put about 5 large leaves on top and around little worm. Then he whispered to it, " Don't leave me Dead worm. I come back soon" I told him to come on and go wash up for dinner..and he said, "Mommy I need to give Dead Worm kisses and hugs." LMAO I explained to him that wasn't possible. He decided to just blow him kisses instead.
After dinner, we went back and Dead Worm was gone. Dalton was devastated. I tried to explain to him that he probably went home to his Mommy. Poor guy thinks Dead Worm will be back to play with him tomorrow...they are best friends after all. lmao
Monday, June 16, 2008
This is going to be a long one..so buckle up..
Dalton is doing well. We are still working on the potty thing. My going back to work has backtracked him a bit. He seems to want to be babied a bit more lately. Like wanting me to rock him to sleep singing "rock a bye baby"..(he fell asleep during it). So I've been getting bunches of kisses, hugs, and snuggles lately.
Work is going well too. I enjoy my job. It is basically business-to-business sales. I am calling businesses that are advertising open positions in the paper and selling them ads in our employment magazine and website. I get a bit overwhelmed sometimes..but I can do this.
I am adjusting to the earlier hours little by little. We have to be in the car by 7:05am for me to get Dalton to daycare and get to work on time. It sucked major ass at first, because I am NOT a morning person. I am absolutely LOVING having weekends off and no nights required. Yay!
I started reading "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath today. It is a very interesting read. I'm only about 1/4 the way through it though..
I had CS court today. Took the morning off work and sat there for almost 4 hours for them to tell me...oops...we had you listed for today, but you are REALLY supposed to be here tomorrow. Ugh! So I get to sit there tomorrow too! Fun Fun.. Poor sperm donor is in for a world of trouble. I am pissy about having to go AGAIN, pissy at him specifically for reasons you all know, and I am PMSing as well.. lmao Start collecting money to get me out of jail please :-D
Thursday, May 29, 2008
I had a minor freak out that I didn't have anything appropriate to wear to work. An online order from Old Navy (Love their plus size dress pants...and the ones I loved most were on clearance!) and a trip to Fashion Bug..and I was set. Yay!
Sunday..I grilled steaks for the first time in my life. (I've only been grilling for almost a year). They turned out fabulous! I found the best seasoning.. Its by Mrs. Dash for Steaks and Damn..its good. I had been using the hamburger version..and its great too!
Monday (Memorial Day) ..Mom and I took Dalton to Fountain City Day in the Park. Its super fun. I went as a child..and I enjoy being able to take my boy too. They have booths set up selling handmade items..local restaurants set up booths with food as well, and local churches usually have a booth and something fun for the kids to do. Dalton did a game for the first time..it was one of those where you through a ball through the mouth of a fish (great big wooden thing...I suck at explaining..but surely you know what I mean) ...He got 4 tries for $2....everyone gets a prize...even if you don't actually win.. (super cool for the littles)..He got the last one in! He was so excited. He picked out a little toy and off we went. Another church had a great big blow up jumper thing..free too! Dalton was too scared to try it last year..but since he's "Big" now..he wanted to.. and he had a ton of fun. He got to play on the playground for ever...then he decided he wanted to ride the Horse..( they have horse drawn carriage rides thru the park ..on the track). He didn't chicken out either.. He was a bit nervous at first..but soon perked up. We were there for over 3 hours.
Then we stopped by CVS to get Mom's meds..and picked up some things.. Croc like shoes for Dalton to wear outside...a shaver ( he wants me to buzz his hair..), a few chairs for the porch...and new sunscreen.
We came home and I opened his slip and slide. I bought it at the end of last summer on clearance..and saved it. Lathered him up in more sunscreen..myself too..I was a bit red by this point.. He had a blast..thought it was the coolest thing.
I grilled hamburgers..and as I was grilling..it was beginning to look overcast.. The winds picked up as the sky was darkening.. I was silently begging my burgers to get done before the rain started..Well they didn't..about the time the rain started..our power went out. Did I mention Dalton freaks when our power goes out?? Yeah..kid freaked..once he found his flash light he calmed a tad. I finished the burgers in a hurry..and we had a "flashlight" picnic on the screened in porch by the pool. By the time we were done eating..our lights came back on.. Yay!
Tuesday..I started my new job. I had to be there by 8am..and its a good 15 minutes a way without traffic.. Poor Dalton..we were pulling up at the daycare at 7am..when they opened. He was confused because his friends hadn't showed up yet. lol I got to work with about 10 minutes to spare... Spent the day in training.. which is done via conference calls. The day went fast.. I get home and change clothes..and my poor ankle/cankle and calf were so swollen..almost up to my knee. It felt like a burning tingle.. very strange.. It once I put my feet up it started getting better. Today..they swelled up again..bad.. So I am going to look for a little stool I can rest my feet on at my desk. That helped when I was pregnant.
Umm..thinking.. I think that is all. Oh I do have pictures from Memorial Day..and I will try to upload them this weekend.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I am going to post my to do list in hopes that since I published it to everyone..I will feel the need to accomplish as much as I can. I have developed a bad habit during my recent unemployment on taking a rather large nap after I drop Dalton off at school. I waste so much time sleeping. It needs to stop. So ..here it goes..
- Laundry- It is a never ending job around here. Last night and tonight, I have done a few loads..even folded it and mostly put away. The laundry room still looks like a disaster area though. I know I can't completely catch up tomorrow, but I do want to make an effort.
- Dalton's toys- They have multiplied and taken over my home. My sister and I weeded through and bagged up ones that didn't see much action. We put them in the garage, but one by one they have found their way back upstairs. So, I want to make a dent in the visible toys. He really only plays with his trains and trucks..so the others can be put up. Even those can be rotated..he has SO many.
I'm starting small. lol So, I will report back tomorrow and see what I can get done!
Also..send prayers/good thoughts to a few friends for me...
*Michelle's dad is in the hospital..he had a brain aneurysm and had surgery today. He's had a rough few months health wise..so the more prayers the better!
*Kim F's MIL is in the hospital as well... she was taken for chest pains. So send prayers to them too.
Monday, May 19, 2008
I will be rejoining the working soon! I got the call today. I start training for my new job on May 27th.
The most awesome things about this job:
- My new co-workers seem like really cool people.
- I will be getting base plus commission. The base is quite a bit more than my previous job.
- The hours are KICK ASS. Instead of working my heiner off 9a-7p Monday thru Saturday, I will be working 8a-5p Monday thru Friday. No nights..no weekends!
- I will have insurance I believe starting September 1st. This is long overdue.
There are many more things that make this job a great fit for me, but I won't bore you. Just wanted to share my news.
*knock on wood* Guess who has jumped on the Potty Training Bandwagon! Yes, Dalton! The child that I was beginning to think would always be in pullups is so into going potty!!
- Yesterday, he was in big boy underwear for at least 7 hours. No accidents!!
- He is being bribed ;-) I found these little dinosaur capules in the $1 spot at Target on clearance. You just drop one in hot water and it breaks open and turns into a little dinosaur sponge. I got a pack of 12 for a quarter. He loves them.
- He is all into picking cool underwear. He recently got Transformers, Diego and Spiderman undies to join his many Thomas the Train pairs. He picked out a pair to put in his backpack to take to school today. (Blue Diego if you are interested haha). He went from 8am until 5pm in those Diego undies with no accidents!!!!! This is HUGE news for us!
- I bought a couple new Thomas the trains for end of the day presents if he does super good. He enjoys working hard to earn his gift. Last night he got the Giggling Tank cars, and today it was Stepney. I still have Hector and an age appropriate Transformer in the backroom.
- He is so into bowling. The past 4-5 months I have told him once he wears big boy underwear all day and goes potty, then I will take him to the "bowling place". He remembers! The first thing he said to me when I was telling him how proud I was that he stayed in big boy undies all day was that he was going to get to go bowling and get bunches of strikes. lol
- Fruit Loops. I have heard about putting cheerios in the potty to add to the Potty Fun from a few friends. Well, we don't have cheerios..but I did have Fruit Loops. So we put a couple in the potty after bathtime tonight. It was hilarious..the kiddo was stopping his urine midstream to change his aim to dunk a different color Fruit loop.
So all in all.. I think this week is going to turn out to be good.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
- The South Beach Diet by Arthur Agaston.
I read a bit about the SB Diet online the other night and thought it might be worth researching.. Anyone tried it? (Found this at McKay's for $2.00)
- Audition by Barbara Walters
I'm a dork.. I like reading Autobiographies. She led quite a life it seems.
- Love the One You're With by Emily Giffin
She is an author that I only recently became aware of...She has quite a few books out already ( Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and Baby Proof) She has a way of writing that will make you hate a character in one book..and then before you know it you are rooting for them. She rocks.
- Sunday at Tiffany's by James Patterson
Patterson is mostly known for his Alex Cross series of books (love them!!) but he also has a few books that touch your heart in a way that is rare (at least for me). Like Sam's Letters to Jennifer and Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas.
- Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella
Kinsella is also the author of the Shopaholic series (a must read).
- Rachel's Holiday by Marian Keyes (purchased at Mckay's but not read yet)
Carolyn from my Mommy email loop first told me about Marian Keyes a summer or two ago. The first book I read by her was Other Side of the Story then I found Sushi for beginners and read it too. She is a fabulous story teller..you get lost in the world she writes about. I highly recommend reading anything by her. I also picked up Last Chance Saloon at McKays for $3.00) Also, I want to read Watermelon, Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married, Angels, and Anybody Out There?
- 32AA, Call Waiting, and Confessions of a Serial Dater by Michelle Cunnah
She is an author I stumbled upon browsing for books at the Barnes and Noble website. Her books seem like they would be a light hearted fun read.
- Rebel Angels and Sweet Far Thing by Libba Bray
I have mentioned Libba Bray in a previous blog...one of the favorite thing posts. These two books are the remainder of the trilogy that A Great and Terrible Beauty started.
So that is my want list...not that you wanted to know. At least now I have a hard copy of it, so when (not if) I lose the paper copy then I'm not screwed. lol
PS- I won't mention how damn long it took me to format this blog. Damn bullets.
So I am a book whore..
Leigh and I went to McKays the other day..I took a shitload of books for trade credit..(Got almost $60.00 in trade.. yay me) I had made a list earlier in the week of authors or book titles to remember to look for. What did I do?? I forgot the fucking list!! LOL Classic Christy.
I did remember a few authors and titles. Specifically... Certain Girls by Jennifer Weiner (the newest book..a sequel to Good In Bed) and a few books by Marion Keyes (Rachel's Holiday and The Last Chance Saloon)
So I decide to start with the new Jennifer Weiner book. It was such an awesome read..and I won't spoil it for any that haven't read it yet. I was crushed at one point in the book. Full blown sobbing, gasping for air, you shot my puppy crying. It was bad..lol Needless to say, I finished the book in one sitting. (Around 3-4 hours..it was after Dalton was asleep). Well the mood carried through today. I was worthless. I made the decision to keep Dalton home from school the night before due to his constipation (again!). Poor kiddo. He stands there stiff legged and red faced just grunting and groaning begging me, "Mommy help me please". It breaks my heart.. So I was determined that today we would fix it. The kid passed an adult sized poop..it would have made my ass cry. lol He was so excited.."Mommy, My did a huuuuge poop" Anyway..I was very off today. At one point, I snuck upstairs and hid in the little hallway corner..just so I could be alone for a few minutes. I got maybe 5 minutes before Dalton came upstairs cautiously looking for me. (He's facinga lot of fears all the sudden..monsters, ghosts, random noises, and the dark.) So I came out of hiding..but I just wasn't me. I avoided phone calls today..( sorry guys..love you) because I just wasn't up for faking a happy mood. I'm trying to snap out of it.. I refuse to let a book..an fucking awesome book at that get me down.
MAYBE. "Clarifying shampoos will strip all hair but I warn color-treated hair to stay far away," says Chiccine. "Instead, combine five aspirin with a quart of water. Shampoo with your regular cleanser and rinse, and then apply this mix, and rinse it out. It removes product build-up without stripping hair and even gets the yellow out of silver shades."
--I copied this from a page of Hair FAQ on AOL last night.. I just thought it was interesting..and others might benefit.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain.
And knew that you would never get well on earth again.
He saw your path was difficult, he closed you tired eyes,
He whispered to you "Peace be Thine" and gave you wings to fly.
When we saw you sleeping so calm and free of pain,
We would not wish you back to earth to suffer once again.
You've left us precious memories, your love will be our guide,
You live on through your children, you're always by our side.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you on the day God called you home
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
I'm unemployed. Since last week.
Dalton was sick beginning of the week..Tuesday I took him to the pediatrician..
Long story, short..the evil person and I got into it. Because he's a heartless bastard. (Laugh all you want Nateah..you know I want to call him worse things haha)
I had an interview...at a temp agency last week.
I aced the exams..
typing: 60 wpm
100% on windows, word and excel
Yay! I needed that ego boost lol
I went to another job interview today..went very well.. I think I've got it. More info on that tomorrow.
Monday morning I woke up to take Dalton to daycare..well Mamaw chauffeured us because I sprained my ankle (just walking) Saturday. Dalton looked at my car and said, "Mommy's car's broke". Some son of a bitch tried to break into my car overnight and broke the little window on the back seat. &^%^$* I felt so violated. So I called the police and filed a police report..the officer said they hit a few cars on my road. Busy night. @@@ Mom realized later that she had left her car unlocked..and Dalton's portable dvd player is gone. They didn't actually get into my car..the door handle and the unlocker thingie is too far up from the window they broke. So I called around to see if I could get it fixed on my own cheaper than the $500 insurance deductible. Today a place came to my house and fixed it for around $150.. Yay! I heard great things about their work..and their prices.. All of it I found true.
I picked dalton up from daycare for his tball game..to be told that in the past 2 hours he had diarrhea 3 times. Greeeeeeeeeeattt.. They didn't think they needed to call me since it was so close to pick up time. I will have a little chat with the director tomorrow. So no tball..I have a whiny hiney boy tonight.
OH ..another blog coming soon..about my girls night Sunday with Sabrina..that deserves a post all by itself.
New Union Prayer Book for the Days of Awe
At the rising of the sun and at its going down,
We remember them.
At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of Winter, We remember them.
At the opening of buds and in the rebirth of Spring,
We remember them.
At the blueness of the skies and in the warmth of Summer,
We remember them.
At the rustling of leaves and the beauty of Autumn,
We remember them.
At the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too will live;
for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember them.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember them.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember them.
When we have decisions that are difficult to make,
We remember them
When we have achievements that are based on theirs,
We remember them.
As long as we live, they too shall live,
for they are a part of us, as we remember them.
Friday, May 2, 2008
and a cure was not meant to be,
So he put his arms around you
and whispered "Come to Me".
With tearful eyes we watched you,
as we saw you pass away.
Although we loved you deeply,
we could not make you stay.
Your Golden Heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.
Copyright © 1997 Therese Williamson
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
in the sparkle of the morning sun.
And then I heard the angel say,
"Their work on earth is done."
I thought I heard your voice today,
then laugh your hearty laugh.
And then I heard the angel say,
"There's peace dear one at last."
I thought I felt your touch today,
in the breeze that rustled by.
And then I heard the angel say,
"The spirit never dies."
I thought I saw my broken heart,
in the crescent of the moon.
And then I heard the angel say,
"The Lord is coming soon."
I thought that you had left me,
for the stars so far above.
And then I heard the angel say,
"They left you with their love."
I thought that I would miss you so,
and never find my way.
And then I heard the angel say,
"They're with you every day."
"The sun, the wind, the moon, the stars,
will forever be around,
reminding you of the love you shared,
and the peace they've finally found.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
I never felt I had the time to mourn when he passed. I had a 6 month old and a distraught mother to take care of. I still don't have the time to mourn now..but I need to get this out in any way I can. Maybe then it won't be so haunting.
Finding my daddy lying in bed that way was horrid. Absolutely horrible. It is something I never wish on anyone..period. For a passing second, I thought he was just sleeping quietly. I shook him, begged, pleaded with him to please wake up while mom screamed in the background. I left for a moment to find a phone to call 911. Attempted to do CPR..the whole nine yards. I thought it was working once. I thought I heard a breath and a gargle, but it wasn't. He was already so gone. I blamed myself for over a year. Maybe if I had been better at CPR or if I had done the chest compressions just right, it would have worked. Maybe if I had grabbed the phone and called 911 first thing instead of trying to wake him up, they could have saved him.
They say that God never gives you more than you can handle. But dammit why does He think *I* could do that?! For months, I was too scared to let my infant son or my mother sleep a full nap/night without waking them up to make sure they didn't die. I would sit awake all night and torture myself with the thought that he didn't die instantly, that maybe for a split second he KNEW. He and I both are bi-polar and suffer from anxiety. I could and still do imagine that what that last minute was like, how scared he must have been. What if he tried to call out but couldn't speak? What if he called out, but was so weak that we didn't hear him? What if he thought we were ignoring him and left him to die? I can't voice these thoughts to my family or even my closest friends. So finally, almost 3 years later I am finding my voice.
I'm going to try to post a picture of a picture too. It's of Dad, me, Misty and Mom..circa 1984 I believe.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
He's 3..will be 4 in November.
He's the reason I can wake up in the morning.
I'm 29..which is the new 22. haha
I dread turning the big 3-0.
Hopefully I will be too drunk to remember it.
I have the most awesome friends.
They love me inspite of my moods.
I go thru antisocial moments.
Eventually, they go away.
I love to read.
I love Mckay's and Barnes and Noble.
I have a blog other than Myspace.
I try to write on it often.
I twitter too.
My family used to be very close and crazy in a good way.
Then my father passed and things went to hell in a handbasket.
He was the glue that held us together.
He will be gone 3 years on May 7th.
The pain of losing him never fades.
I doubt it ever will.
I have many sisters and 1 brother.
I talk to one sister often.
I talk to another when she will answer her damn phone. ;-)
..the other.. well.. the only good she has done is give me 3 fabulous nephews.
My mom rocks.
I like to play guitar hero.
Dalton likes to play too.
He says that he and I are ROCKSTARS.
I love Grey's Anatomy.
I only recently started watching Scrubs.
It's funny as hell.
I love General Hospital.
I get pissy that I have to miss it to work sometimes.
I need to get a DVR..my "Tivo" isn't working.
I once called TIVO and went off on the customer service lady.
My machine wasnt working and she said we didn't have an account.
After 30 minutes of arguing and me telling her to get her head out of her ass..
I looked at my TIVO and realized it wasn't a TIVO afterall.
It was from REPLAY TV.
I hung up on the lady and laughed
I hate actually flipping channels.
I usually just end up watching the TV Guide Preview Channel.
Yes I'm a dork.
Friday, April 25, 2008
This advice was passed along to me from a friend who got it from a website who got it from a counselor; it was great to hear so I wanted to share it.
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends."
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about
baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists
of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you're
always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies.
You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Me: How much does mommy love you?
Me: *laughing* silly boy.. How many does mommy love you?
M: Thats right. What about Mam? How many does Mam love you?
M: thats right..but who loves you most of all?
Dalton: Nanny does!
With my bubble burst, I said I'm sure she does..but you are MY baby. lol
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Getting old sucks. Let me rephrase that..getting old while being fat sucks. lol
I got up this morning..got ready for work..realized..oh hell i feel like shit. So I took my blood pressure and about fainted.
Greeeeeeeat. So I took my meds..and laid down on the couch to chill for a few. Took it again..it was still high..but not nearly as bad.
I will admit..I was scared.
Dalton had a wee ball scrimmage on Tuesday night. Very cute..
He got his shirt and hat too. He did well at first, then towards the middle just wanted to play in the dirt..sooo tempting for a 3 year old! It was really late though..the scrimmage started at 7pm. Crazy.. His first real game is on Saturday at noon. A friend (hint hint) is coming and going to take pics for me..she rocks!
Seems like the sperm donor has lost interest again. He lasted longer than usual this time. Almost 2 months of contact is a record for him. I called him on Monday to let him know about the scrimmage and game. No answer..so I left a voicemail. On the way to the ball park, Dalton asked, "Mommy, will my dad be there?" So I called him again and no answer. So nope ..no show. Asswipe... I haven't called him again..trying to behave and keep the b/p down. I don't know what his deal is..but dammit either be a part of MY son's life or stay the fuck away. You can't have both!
A few months back at Target I bought the Yoga Booty Ballet system. I had seen the infomercials quite a bit and thought it looked fun. Well as fun as exercising can be.. I finally opened it last night.. Didn't actually do it..but I did look through the materials. :-) Tonight I will attempt it..
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Ok..so I've been having some messed up dreams lately.
The other night, I dreamed I was pregnant. I went into labor on August 3rd and gave birth to not 1 but 3 babies! I was shocked!! No one, doctors included realized their were 3 babies. So, in that moment I became the mother to 4! I cried..I can barely be a parent to 1 child..let alone 4!! I had 2 boys and 1 girl. Kaia Jane, Dylan Ferguson, and Noah (I forget what his middle name was).
Fast forward a night or two..
I was at work..and a co-worker was scared to take a pregnancy test. So I told her..buy a 2 pack..I'll take one with you. I thought it funny b/c I was on my period and there would be NO way it could be positive. Hers was instantly negative and mine was instantly positive. I was shocked..I hadn't missed a period in a YEAR! So I made my appt with my ob. Yup, I was pregnant..so they did an ultrasound to see if they could date it. "Oh, look I see a boy! Oh goodness, another boy..same sac..Identical twins. They measure to be about 16 weeks" Ok..twins I can handle twins..and I can handle boys. lol Then, I hear.."Oh, there is another one..a girl! Ms. Brady you are having triplets" My one thought was at least this time around Lane Bryant carries a maternity line. lol So my pregnancy goes on..and they do a csection on..you guessed it..August 3rd. Dylan, Cooper, and Emma. Funny...huh?
I'm hoping my new meds are what is causing these dreams..
About a month or so ago..I was at work feeling like shit. My chest hurt and my arms were numb.. I thought I was dying. So, I stopped by my doctor's office. My blood pressure was 178/114. Lovely. I left there on blood pressure meds..obviously. (Making long story short) lol So..could this Lisinopril be messing with my dreams? The other dreams are too violent to blog about..so I don't know.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Because I suck and hit publish before I was finished. lol
Website: Celebrity Baby Blog
Shopping Website: Barnes and noble!
TV Show: Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, and Charmed.
I know Charmed isn't airing new episodes anymore, but I will always be a fan.
Guilty Pleasure: The History Channel.
Yes, I am a dork. If you have the link to my blog..you should already know my dork status.
Ice Cream: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
Celebrity Fantasy: Patrick Dempsey by a long shot.. yummy.
Yes, I was bored..and felt the need to post SOMETHING! lol
I hope you enjoyed my favorites.. I'm tagging you to post your favorite things too!
I'm not Oprah..so I don't have free goodies for you..but I'm sharing anyway.
SONG: Stay by Sugarland
This isn't my alltime favorite..Dalton and I caught it on TNT tonight and I hadn't seen it before. Good movie..I want to see it again from the beginning.
FOOD: Biscuits and mashed potatoes and gravy.
I'm all about comfort food right now. lol
BOOK: "A Great and Terrible Beauty" by Libba Bray
I was recommended this book by Nateah. She told me about what a fantastic read this was and let me borrow it. I wasn't able to get to it right away because Dalton got sick, but once I did..OMG! I read it in one sitting. (late night sitting lol)
Looks can be deceiving though. This is a book geared toward teens, but I loved it! I found out that there is a trilogy and I am very excited about reading the next two books in it.
MAGAZINE: "Newsweek" or "Entertainment Weekly"
GOSSIP BLOG: definately Perez Hilton - http://www.perezhilton.com/
also I check http://pinkisthenewblog.com/ and http://www.justjared.com/
Thursday, March 13, 2008
No one hurt my feelings, nothing happened that caused this emotion. I should have known yesterday that it would happen. Yesterday, I was so happy. I mean..estatically happy. Again, for no reason.
I am a functioning bi polar person. That means I do not take medication. 90% of the time, I am perfectly normal. That other 10% of the time is a bitch. Its either super manic..or hide me under a rock until I die.
I am not looking for sympathy..I don't want a lecture about how I should take the meds my doctor thinks I am taking. I just want to vent...
This too shall pass..
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Conclusion: It is pretty fucked up. Yup I said it, I went there.
Now, how do I change it? Or do I change me? But..if I change me..then I won't be "ME" anymore. Confusing isn't it? Or maybe not..alcohol talking lol
I understand how some people come to depend on alcohol or drugs to get through life..I can sympathize with them even. I could so go there..but I can't. Sometimes I want to..but I can't.
** Numbers.. I think its time to start counting again. Or not counting..does it matter that much? (Brina..you know what I mean haha)
** Work.. I hate my job. I said it. I do. I don't hate my co workers..they are pretty cool.. I just hate hating my job..hating the stupid fuckers that come in the store and don't even know there own fucking cell phone number. I mean c'mon! I understand you don't call yourself often..but dammit..don't be a dumbass. Or worse..how can you NOT know what you are paying for???? You would be SHOCKED at the amount of people who have NO CLUE what the hell they pay for every month. Or they will bitch about their bill going up fifty cents due to fcc shit..but pay late every damn month and rack up $15 late fees. I mean shit...are you stupid or what???? I could go on and on and on..but I will stop there.
Okay so I mislead you.. I promised a fun drunk blog..but I couldn't put out. All the work and no orgasm..(not naming names..). I needed to bitch and this is my blog. So there ;-D
Super silly game..just run up and scare each other going "Pow Pow"..
No guns..or pretend guns.. Dalton just thinks that sound is funny.
So I run up to him flailing (is that even a freakin word?) my arms..going "Pow pow pow" in a high pitch voice..and my little monster..stops...POINTS his finger at me and says.."MOMMY< CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW"
Okay...gee I wonder where he has heard THAT from??? LMAO
My life is boring. Yes boring..work work..mommy mommy.. that is just what my life is at the moment.
I wouldn't trade my son for the world..but I need some excitement in my life. *wink wink nudge nudge* lol
My goal of the day is to sit back with a pitcher of alcoholic beverages and brainstorm on how I can get my groove back. lmao
*in laymans terms..look for a drunk blog tonight*
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
I went to court on 2/27..and have I updated about it? Nope..not a email mention..or a blog post.
So we wake up to SNOW!! Of all freakin days to snow..yes the day I am supposed to meet asshole..I mean Jamie.. in court. Luckily the roads were still safe..and the daycare was still open. Mom and I took Dalton to school, then drove downtown. We got there right around 9am, which is what my papers said to be there. I check in..and we have a seat. Honestly, I didn't think he would show up. At this point, I hadn't heard from him in over a year and he hadn't called or seen Dalton in over a year either.
About 9:30 am he showed up. I don't know if he didn't see me..or was just ignoring me, but he didn't speak. About 10 minutes later, I walked up to him..and made small talk. He asked about Dalton..and I asked about his other son.. He said that L's mother was keeping him from him..and I reminded him that I had NEVER kept Dalton from him..regardless of how I felt..I never told him no if he wanted to see him. He said that he knew that and he had been keeping himself away. WTF?? Seriously?? What kind of fucked up person does that?? Anyway..he said he was trying to get his priorities straight. @@ Oh I told him that Dalton has been asking about his daddy..and he said "why..he doesn't even know who I am?" and I said.."I know..but he does". I told him that I had tried to get in touch with him through his sister, but never heard back from her. He said they don't speak still. So they call everyone into court..and we check in w/ the judge..then its back out to the waiting room. Fun fun. About 20 min. later, the bailiff comes out and calls our names. The judge assigned Jamie a lawyer and reset our court date for April 2nd at 9am. He told Jamie.." If I were you, I would pay as much as I can in Child Support between now and then." So that way my day in court.
We were walking out..me, mom, and him. I flat out asked him.. do you want to see Dalton? Because if you don't, I will not ask you again..and I refuse to force you to be a part of his son's life. He said that he does..and he will. He gave me his cell number and told me I can call him anytime. Mom..being the butting in kinda mother she is..asked him if he wanted to see Dalton today. We were planning on getting him from daycare since I was off work. He said yeah he would like that if I didn't mind. So I told him..meet us at my house in 30-45 min. So I can get Dalton settled..
So Mom and I go to get the boy..but I didn't tell him what was going to happen. Not long after we get home and changed..he knocks on the door. I tell Dalton, hey buddy..your daddy is here to see you. What does he do?? Runs to me..crying ..begging No Mommy No. It was so pitiful. So I pick him up..and hold him..and comfort him..telling him Daddy just wants to see how big he is..and talk to him..and even play. That he isn't going bye bye..he is staying with Mommy like always.
He whined/cried for about 10 minutes while Jamie tried to talk to him. Then slowly started to warm up to him. Then BAM! he was all about his daddy. They played football, basketball, bowling..you name it. They rough housed..and everything was "my daddy" this and "my daddy" that. It was sickening lol. All in all he stayed for over an hour. Dalton started to get tired..and asked if Daddy was going home. I said yes Daddy has his own house. He asked if he was going to Daddy's house. I told him not this day but maybe another day if Daddy says its okay. Then dalton said he wanted his daddy to live with Mommy. Ugh.. where did this come from?? I explained to him that mommy and daddy can't live together. Mommy and Dalton live with Mamaw at Mamaw's house and Daddy has another house. Not sure what he understood..but I had to explain it a few times. So they play a bit more..then its time for Jamie to leave.. I tell Dalton to give Daddy a hugs and kisses. He said no..MOMMY KISS DADDY> lmao I was like..ummm NO..I'm not kissing Daddy. I said then just give Daddy high 5s ..thats cool. So he gives him high fives and a hug.
Fast forward to the next day.. Mom picked Dalton up from school and Claudia said ALL he talked about all day was his daddy and what they did. Mom called me at work later and said that for the past hour all he has wanted to do was "I call my daddy..talk to my daddy". So I called him..and explained that I was sorry to bother him..but Dalton was really wanting to talk to him and could he please call the house. He seemed really happy that Dalton was thinking about him..He called they talked for awhile and Dalton was good.
Okay..I am done typing my novel..for now. LOL
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Updates from Brady Land..
Since November, we have been visited by the sicky germs..well at least Dalton has been visited.
-Pink eye both eyes
-upper resp. infection
-nasty stomach virus
Poor guy.. Hopefully with the warm weather we will get out of this funk.
We went to my sisters in GA the 15-17th of Feb..for my nephew Brady's bday party. Oh, Dalton was so excited. We took her boys and mine to get haircuts..and OMG Dalton looks like a big boy now~! It was this place called "half pints" lol He was so good. So I guess we will be visiting GA every 6-8 weeks! haha
I signed Dalton up for Weeball today. He is sooo excited. I have to go find him a real glove soon. I should hear from his coach by mid march..then come practices and games. Yay!
What else should I blog about...any ideas?
I remembered ..
I have a court date on Feb 27th.. Asswipe is in contempt of Child support with the state. Stupid fucker.. I really hate him. Truly. How bad is that?? The worst part of it..is guess who Dalton has been asking about on a regular basis?? Yup..his "Daddy". Last night he even asked to go to "Daddy's house". I told him..right now he's at mommy's house and maybe another time he can go to Daddy's. He accepted that answer..so for now I'm in the clear..but he still asks about him..and it frustrates me..
The Power of Seven.
So here goes...1) Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog. (check!)
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird. (see below)
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs. (hoping these will play along)
4) Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. (done)
a. I am a book whore. Seriously, I am addicted to reading. I can read a book or two a day.. (time willing..ie. dead day at work or I stay up all night). Yes I'm a dork.
b. I seriously doubt I will ever get married. My parents were married over 30 years..so I had positive role models in marriage growing up. Two reasons...I know most marriages now days end in divorce..and second..if I was lucky enough to have a lasting marriage..I don't want to go thru losing my hubby like mom lost dad.
c. I am still a bit scared of the dark. Not inside dark..but being outside at night weirds me out. Long story short..when I was about 8..my sister lived across the street..and was grabbed walking from her neighbors to her home.. gun to her head..you are gonna die scenerio. Her asshole chickenshit dh at the time...didn't do anything but run to our house crying like a baby and left her there. Dad got his shotgun ( assuming it was a shot gun..) and shot the guy before the police got there. So yeah I have my reasons.
d. I want to learn how to shoot. Not for sport..but for protection. I want to have a permit to carry. I think it would be very empowering, but probably never will because I am afraid my own gun would be used against me.
e. From birth until age 22 or so ..I had blue eyes. Then they turned green/blue..so I guess hazel. I get more compliments on my eyes now than every before..but at least that means they aren't staring at my chest. LOL
f. I have a hard time opening up to people...even friends b/c I am afraid what I say will be used against me at some point.
g. I read more emails than I reply to. I want to reply but sometimes I just can't..I feel like I haven't responded in so long..that I just shouldn't reply now. lol
I warned you I am strange!
I'm too lazy to think of people to tag..so if you read this consider yourself TAGGED!